therapy

Is it possible to get rid of our suffering? Can we make our pain disappear?

Is it possible to get rid of our suffering? Can we make our pain disappear?

So many people ask me what they need to do to ‘get rid of’ their suffering. How to stop feeling the pain, stop feeling sad or even how to stop thinking about the issues that are causing their suffering. As if there were techniques to learn or a magic button that would make it all disappear in an instant.

And the answer is simple: we don’t ‘get rid’ of our suffering, we can’t just make it disappear. It takes time. It takes healing. And, surprisingly, it takes our care and attention for that to happen.

What is Family Constellation?

What is Family Constellation?

Sometimes you might be feeling stuck, not knowing what to do and unable to understand why you behave in certain ways. Or you have been carrying unresolved issues that are beyond your control. Constantly repeating old patterns. Or you have physical and emotional symptoms that don’t seem to be your own, as if they have been ‘passed on to you’. Common statements are ‘I wasn’t being myself’ or ‘I don’t know what took over me’.

How can I feel less anxious and more assertive? Most people don’t even know I’m not confident in myself

How can I feel less anxious and more assertive? Most people don’t even know I’m not confident in myself

There are so many people who seem so confident and sure of themselves, making decisions and getting on with their daily challenges, that you wouldn’t even suspect that they are feeling extremely anxious and vulnerable on the inside. For every task, there are countless doubts, insecurities and fears. And that can be exhausting and lonely, dealing with those emotions, without anyone knowing about it.

Everybody is talking about Self-Care. But what is it all about?

Everybody is talking about Self-Care. But what is it all about?

We live in a fast world. Being busy is the rule and ‘doing’ is the norm. We feel guilty if we are not producing, achieving, showing results. There’s a pressure to be constantly in action. Either at work or during our time off. Even socially, it feels as if we have to be always doing something: meeting people, going to places, keeping up with events. But where is all that pressure coming from? Who is actually asking you to live your life like this?

Don’t suffer alone, whatever you are going through. Why reaching out for help is so important.

Don’t suffer alone, whatever you are going through. Why reaching out for help is so important.

I hear so many people apologising for their suffering, as if their troubles aren’t ‘bad enough’ or worth paying attention to. As if other people’s problems were always more serious than theirs and that they ‘shouldn’t complain’. And my answer is often the same: ‘How do you measure and compare suffering?, ‘Why are you not deserving of attention?’, ‘Why isn’t your suffering important?’.

Never feel guilty for having a break. The importance of going on a holiday & truly switching off.

Never feel guilty for having a break. The importance of going on a holiday & truly switching off.

If you ever panicked and overworked on the days leading to your holiday, you are not alone. Sometimes it feels like you will be leaving for months, years, and nobody else will be able to cope without you or nothing will be done in your absence. Worse still, you might feel they will cope too well and you might be replaced. All in the space of ONE single week. 

Why Counselling can be so powerful. And why I admire the ones who reach out for help.

Why Counselling can be so powerful. And why I admire the ones who reach out for help.

It takes courage and strength to face your problems and reach out for help. It’s not an easy decision and it will likely involve talking about things that you would probably prefer to forget about. But, as most of us might have noticed, ‘forgetting’ is impossible and doesn’t really help.

Do you feel stuck? What to do when you are frustrated and just want to give up

Do you feel stuck? What to do when you are frustrated and just want to give up

Sometimes you feel you are going nowhere. So much work, so much effort, and no results. Either in your relationships, at work, or in your own self-development. Totally stuck. And it is frustrating, because you want solutions. And you want them now.

Why can’t I find ‘Mr or Mrs Right’? The eternal search for the perfect relationship

Why can’t I find ‘Mr or Mrs Right’? The eternal search for the perfect relationship

The idea of finding that person who is absolutely perfect still persists. The hope of meeting someone who ‘ticks all the boxes’, with common interests, no big flaws, and with added physical and intellectual attraction, puts most single people in an eternal hunt for ‘love perfection’.

Why do I feel like I am a different person at different times? Understanding the several parts of ourselves

Why do I feel like I am a different person at different times?  Understanding the several parts of ourselves

‘Why am I so confident sometimes, and the next moment I act like a small child?’ ‘Why do I feel so vulnerable and lost in certain situations? And in others I am a control freak and in charge?’ ‘Why do I feel so intimidated by that person, but so authoritarian when I am with that other person?’‘Who is the REAL me?’

You are not your job

You are not your job

The sad reality is that, more and more, people are too identified with their jobs. Their sense of self, of who they are and their external image, is intrinsically linked to what they do for a living. They get validation from praises at work, they find happiness when they receive compliments, their satisfaction and rewards come in form of bonus or promotions.