Relationship issues

How can Family Constellations help with illnesses and health issues?

How can Family Constellations help with illnesses and health issues?

Health issues can cause a lot of suffering, both physical and emotional. In some cases, patients move from doctor to doctor, different medicine modalities and other alternative resources, without much improvement in their symptoms. This might end up in a long journey of search, hope and disappointments.

Family Constellations work can help us to start open new perspectives on the roots of the issues. It’s a therapeutic way of looking at the deeper causes of illnesses and possible ways of healing. In order to do this, the symptoms are seen as an ‘entry gate’ for the exploration - a starting place for what is really going on with that person - and not the enemy that we need to get rid of.

How to deal with disappointments, avoid conflicts and create better relationships

How to deal with disappointments, avoid conflicts and create better relationships

Are people constantly disappointing you and letting you down? Do you feel you don’t matter to them, or they don’t get you, or they simply don’t care?

What about we start moving the focus away from the others and turn it towards ourselves?

What about starting questioning: Why am I feeling so disappointed right now? What did I want from this person? What is my part in all this?

How am I going to go through Christmas and New Year in 2020?

How am I going to go through Christmas and New Year in 2020?

Everybody is talking about it. Everywhere. There’s a lot of anxiety around us at the moment. ‘How am I going to cope with Christmas this year?’, ‘It’ll be so bad’, ‘I’m dreading the Holidays’,It’ll be so strange this year’, ‘I always do ‘this’ or ‘that’ over Christmas’ and the comments go on and on.

There’s a lot of uncertainty right now. The rules and guidelines are constantly changing and it’s difficult to make plans or have a clear view of what’s to come and what we are going to do, and how we are going to feel.

But there are things we can do and change in ourselves, there are ways to think and focus that can be very helpful in these last weeks of the year. And hopefully, for other times too, ‘not only for Christmas’:

Why we will need to start all over again after lockdown. And how to make that transition as painless and beneficial as possible

Why we will need to start all over again after lockdown. And how to make that transition as painless and beneficial as possible

While we had to readjust and find new ways of living during lockdown, we will need to rethink our lives and habits when this is all over.

While many people used the lockdown as an opportunity to rethink their lifestyle, become healthier and slow down their pace. Many others reached a much higher level of anxiety and insecurities, or threw themselves into unhealthy habits such as much more alcohol and excess eating, less motivation for physical activities and less interest in social interactions.

How to keep sane and well during the ‘social isolation’ and ‘collective anxiety’

How to keep sane and well during the ‘social isolation’ and ‘collective anxiety’

This has been a very difficult time for most people. Uncertainty and the unknown shake our most basic life structure, we lose routine and we end up feeling confused and lost. Right now, nobody seems immune to the ‘collective anxiety’ that has been taking over our society in the last few weeks.

If we let ourselves get sucked into all the stress, if we don’t focus on what can be done right now, if we don’t create a healthy mindset, we are in danger of freaking out and losing touch with the things that are really important in our lives.

Many people fear ‘they’ll go crazy’ by being stuck at home. So these are the things I would suggest:

Is it possible to get rid of our suffering? Can we make our pain disappear?

Is it possible to get rid of our suffering? Can we make our pain disappear?

So many people ask me what they need to do to ‘get rid of’ their suffering. How to stop feeling the pain, stop feeling sad or even how to stop thinking about the issues that are causing their suffering. As if there were techniques to learn or a magic button that would make it all disappear in an instant.

And the answer is simple: we don’t ‘get rid’ of our suffering, we can’t just make it disappear. It takes time. It takes healing. And, surprisingly, it takes our care and attention for that to happen.

What is Family Constellation?

What is Family Constellation?

Sometimes you might be feeling stuck, not knowing what to do and unable to understand why you behave in certain ways. Or you have been carrying unresolved issues that are beyond your control. Constantly repeating old patterns. Or you have physical and emotional symptoms that don’t seem to be your own, as if they have been ‘passed on to you’. Common statements are ‘I wasn’t being myself’ or ‘I don’t know what took over me’.

We all need some space. It’s ok to be alone and do nothing sometimes.

We all need some space. It’s ok to be alone and do nothing sometimes.

There’s so much pressure to be doing things, going out, meeting friends and having fun. And, with social media, the pressure has increased, knowing what other people have been up to, all their busy social schedules and lots of activities planned way in advance. There’s almost a sense that if you are not out and about, you can’t possibly be enjoying yourself. But is that really true? Can’t you be happy and content on your own, doing things that you actually find fun? Or doing nothing at all?

Don’t suffer alone, whatever you are going through. Why reaching out for help is so important.

Don’t suffer alone, whatever you are going through. Why reaching out for help is so important.

I hear so many people apologising for their suffering, as if their troubles aren’t ‘bad enough’ or worth paying attention to. As if other people’s problems were always more serious than theirs and that they ‘shouldn’t complain’. And my answer is often the same: ‘How do you measure and compare suffering?, ‘Why are you not deserving of attention?’, ‘Why isn’t your suffering important?’.

Why does separation hurt so much? The emotional stages after a breakup

Why does separation hurt so much? The emotional stages after a breakup

If you are going through a breakup, separation or divorce, you might be feeling sad, distressed, angry, or perhaps numb, lost and confused. If the decision to end the relationship wasn’t yours, there might be feelings of rejection, insecurities, low self-esteem, low self-confidence and vulnerability.

The Reality and Life Changes after having a baby

The Reality and Life Changes after having a baby

It doesn't matter how many times people tell you that your life will totally change after having kids. It doesn't matter if you have seen your friends or relatives doing it. Most people think: 'It will be different for me!'. And... surprise... Having children totally changes your life. Fact. And the changes happen in the most unpredictable and unexpecting ways. You will not know how it will affect you, as an individual, and affect your relationship, as a couple, until you experience it for yourself.