loneliness

Is it possible to get rid of our suffering? Can we make our pain disappear?

Is it possible to get rid of our suffering? Can we make our pain disappear?

So many people ask me what they need to do to ‘get rid of’ their suffering. How to stop feeling the pain, stop feeling sad or even how to stop thinking about the issues that are causing their suffering. As if there were techniques to learn or a magic button that would make it all disappear in an instant.

And the answer is simple: we don’t ‘get rid’ of our suffering, we can’t just make it disappear. It takes time. It takes healing. And, surprisingly, it takes our care and attention for that to happen.

We all need some space. It’s ok to be alone and do nothing sometimes.

We all need some space. It’s ok to be alone and do nothing sometimes.

There’s so much pressure to be doing things, going out, meeting friends and having fun. And, with social media, the pressure has increased, knowing what other people have been up to, all their busy social schedules and lots of activities planned way in advance. There’s almost a sense that if you are not out and about, you can’t possibly be enjoying yourself. But is that really true? Can’t you be happy and content on your own, doing things that you actually find fun? Or doing nothing at all?

Don’t suffer alone, whatever you are going through. Why reaching out for help is so important.

Don’t suffer alone, whatever you are going through. Why reaching out for help is so important.

I hear so many people apologising for their suffering, as if their troubles aren’t ‘bad enough’ or worth paying attention to. As if other people’s problems were always more serious than theirs and that they ‘shouldn’t complain’. And my answer is often the same: ‘How do you measure and compare suffering?, ‘Why are you not deserving of attention?’, ‘Why isn’t your suffering important?’.

Why can’t I find ‘Mr or Mrs Right’? The eternal search for the perfect relationship

Why can’t I find ‘Mr or Mrs Right’? The eternal search for the perfect relationship

The idea of finding that person who is absolutely perfect still persists. The hope of meeting someone who ‘ticks all the boxes’, with common interests, no big flaws, and with added physical and intellectual attraction, puts most single people in an eternal hunt for ‘love perfection’.