Sometimes you might be feeling stuck, not knowing what to do and unable to understand why you behave in certain ways. Or you have been carrying unresolved issues that are beyond your control. Constantly repeating old patterns. Or you have physical and emotional symptoms that don’t seem to be your own, as if they have been ‘passed on to you’. Common statements are ‘I wasn’t being myself’ or ‘I don’t know what took over me’.
There’s so much pressure to be doing things, going out, meeting friends and having fun. And, with social media, the pressure has increased, knowing what other people have been up to, all their busy social schedules and lots of activities planned way in advance. There’s almost a sense that if you are not out and about, you can’t possibly be enjoying yourself. But is that really true? Can’t you be happy and content on your own, doing things that you actually find fun? Or doing nothing at all?
I hear so many people apologising for their suffering, as if their troubles aren’t ‘bad enough’ or worth paying attention to. As if other people’s problems were always more serious than theirs and that they ‘shouldn’t complain’. And my answer is often the same: ‘How do you measure and compare suffering?, ‘Why are you not deserving of attention?’, ‘Why isn’t your suffering important?’.
If you are going through a breakup, separation or divorce, you might be feeling sad, distressed, angry, or perhaps numb, lost and confused. If the decision to end the relationship wasn’t yours, there might be feelings of rejection, insecurities, low self-esteem, low self-confidence and vulnerability.
It doesn't matter how many times people tell you that your life will totally change after having kids. It doesn't matter if you have seen your friends or relatives doing it. Most people think: 'It will be different for me!'. And... surprise... Having children totally changes your life. Fact. And the changes happen in the most unpredictable and unexpecting ways. You will not know how it will affect you, as an individual, and affect your relationship, as a couple, until you experience it for yourself.