There are so many people who seem so confident and sure of themselves, making decisions and getting on with their daily challenges, that you wouldn’t even suspect that they are feeling extremely anxious and vulnerable on the inside. For every task, there are countless doubts, insecurities and fears. And that can be exhausting and lonely, dealing with those emotions, without anyone knowing about it.
We live in a fast world. Being busy is the rule and ‘doing’ is the norm. We feel guilty if we are not producing, achieving, showing results. There’s a pressure to be constantly in action. Either at work or during our time off. Even socially, it feels as if we have to be always doing something: meeting people, going to places, keeping up with events. But where is all that pressure coming from? Who is actually asking you to live your life like this?
I hear so many people apologising for their suffering, as if their troubles aren’t ‘bad enough’ or worth paying attention to. As if other people’s problems were always more serious than theirs and that they ‘shouldn’t complain’. And my answer is often the same: ‘How do you measure and compare suffering?, ‘Why are you not deserving of attention?’, ‘Why isn’t your suffering important?’.
If you are going through a breakup, separation or divorce, you might be feeling sad, distressed, angry, or perhaps numb, lost and confused. If the decision to end the relationship wasn’t yours, there might be feelings of rejection, insecurities, low self-esteem, low self-confidence and vulnerability.
It doesn't matter how many times people tell you that your life will totally change after having kids. It doesn't matter if you have seen your friends or relatives doing it. Most people think: 'It will be different for me!'. And... surprise... Having children totally changes your life. Fact. And the changes happen in the most unpredictable and unexpecting ways. You will not know how it will affect you, as an individual, and affect your relationship, as a couple, until you experience it for yourself.
Some call it ‘existential crisis’ or ‘life crisis’. And it can happen at any stage of your life. It’s that moment when you look in the mirror and ask: ‘Is that it?’. Or ‘What’s the point of this?’. Or ‘What am I doing with my life?’. Those thoughts can make you anxious and feeling lost. Not knowing where to go or how to take the next step.